I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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