I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
