I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
