You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
