How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
