We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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