i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
