Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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