I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
