How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
