Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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