if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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