remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
