I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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