I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
