All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
