Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
