She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
