I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How's work?
Spinning.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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