is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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