I accidentally burped into my bong.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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