Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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