ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
