hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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