Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
