i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
