Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize