He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
