you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
