absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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