PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
