the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
my liver is dry heaving
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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