You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
