Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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