It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He? As in you personified your dick?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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