I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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