So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Drunk is a universal language darling
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