There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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