He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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