Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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