Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
