I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
