please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
