I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
