please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
