1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
