he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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