Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
