I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
