dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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