I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
