Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize