I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
