This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
