This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
