Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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