we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
