Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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