dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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