Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
