four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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