Me. At least after what I've been through.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
